Robert's Reflections
October 29 2000

Archive

Child Rearing (Cont)

I am grateful for the patience of those of you who do not have children or have grown children. This series of articles accompanies the PM sermon series I am presenting on Raising Healthy, Happy Children.

A fifteen month old can usually understand five out of ten commands from his parents. But he will usually obey only one of ten commands. When told not to do something, he will immediately do it. He sometimes throws temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way. Yet this is perfectly normal behavior in most fifteen month olds because they have every reason to believe their parents were put on this earth to service them and meet all their wants and needs. And this is absolutely right. Parents are responsible to have this kind of commitment to their children during infancy and early toddler hood. But after two years, you are supposed to stop catering and take your rightful place at the center of your child's attention.

The problem is that many of today's parents never make this important move in their children's lives. They do an absolutely wonderful job during the first two years; then, because they never shift gears, things begin to fall apart. Long after their children have grown past being toddlers, these well intentioned parents are still catering, still serving, still reinforcing their children's seff- centeredness. They fail to realize that by this behavior, these good parents are actually hindering the growth toward independence for their children.

Our job as parents is to cater to the kidos until they are two. Then during the last sixteen years of active parenthood, we must spend our time and energies undoing what was done during the first two years. This undoing is vital to the development of the child's discipline, social growth, and independence toward adulthood.

Reference: 'Because I Said So'
By: John Rosemond