Robert's Reflections
December 03, 2000

Archive

Teaching Responsability

According to Dr. John Rosemond, a child develops a sense of responsibility in two ways: 1) doing chores around the home, and 2) being held accountable for their own behavior.

By age four every healthy child should be participating in housework every day. Have you noticed how chores have to be done every day? We rarely get a day off from all responsibility. Meals have to be prepared, beds made, clothes washed, dried and put away, etc. If your children live there every day, it is only fair that they help. The children will of course resist, because they want you to serve them. But even if they fail to understand, doesn't it make sense that it would help our children develop a better sense of belonging if they have a part in family duties? These chores should be done without compensation with money or things. The ONLY reason children should do chores is because they are members of the family. Thus s/he shares in the family's responsibility and well as its rewards.

Children should be held accountable for their behavior. Scripture teaches that the effects of our actions pass down to our children and their descendants. But, concerning personal responsibility, each person stands alone. (Ezekiel 18:20 'The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.)

Thus, when a child misbehaves, the child should feel bad and not the parents. It is a terribly abusive parent who always "fixes" everything for their child. Consequences are a great motivator. They help reinforce the positive while discouraging improper behavior.

Someone said "if good citizenship does not begin at home, then from whence will it spring?"