“The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression” (Prov 19:11). Is it just me or are Christians far too easily offended? From time to time probably all of us find ourselves offended by something someone said, did, or perhaps didn’t say or didn’t do. Someone may be a little short with you. Someone may be slow to respond to your text, email, or call. Someone has done you wrong and they don’t apologize. You’ve done something nice for someone and they don’t thank you for it. It may be the way someone talks, walks, dresses, or acts. Someone didn’t say hi to me and shake my hand. We could go on and on with this list, but I think you get the point. We are admonished in the Bible not to be oversensitive: “Do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times, also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others” (Ecc 7:21-22).
The fact of the matter is that offenses are going to come. When they do its okay to admit that they hurt. However, we don’t have to get so upset and bent out of shape about it. We can learn to do as the Psalm says “overlook” the offense. It says in (Col 3:13) that we should be “bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do”. Here are some suggestions on how to do that:
- DON’T FOCUS ON YOURSELF – Getting our feelings hurt and being easily offended is often the result of thinking too highly of oneself. Paul tells us: “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith” (Heb 12:3). If you are easily offended ask God to create in you a more humble mindset. It’s hard to become offended when you are “esteeming others better than yourself” and valuing what they have to offer.
- EXAMINE YOURSELF – If you find yourself easily offended by others, look to see if something else is going on in your life to make you more irritable. Would you be so easily offended if you didn’t have such problems in your life? Ask God to help you get through the hard times and in the mean time to have patience with others.
- CONSIDER THE OTHER PERSON’S PROBLEMS – Don’t always assume that it’s about you. Someone may be short with you because they are having issues in their life. Consider what they might be going through and ask yourself if they are normally like that. If they are not, the chances are that they have a struggle in their life.
- ASSUME GOOD MOTIVES – Let’s try to assume the best about one another instead of the worst. We need to always give others the benefit of the doubt. If someone offends you, consider that they probably didn’t intend to, or didn’t think about how their actions came across. We so often judge others by their actions, but we want others to judge us by our intentions.
Next time you find yourself getting offended, take a few moments to think things through. You may realize that you got upset over nothing. We all have different personalities. Consider those differences, ignore the mistakes, and learn how to better get along with others – even when they say and do things that are unpleasant.